Fortunate to have a Long Relation!!

                         Its Just Fortunate to have a Long Relation!!

Matching of ideas, views are the strong reason for the successful life of a couple?  Yes, of course that is very much important as it will help to make fast conclusion on any issue. As everyone knows, dragging an issue with different views will give more scope for many more views, so people with close views and ideas will be more successful as they are able to avoid unnecessary debate.

The love marriages (that will happen only after getting the feeling that they know each other very well) have less success rate than the arranged marriages (that will be done on a belief that they will become close together). In order to deal a situation, love marriage couple will deal it easily as they have some idea about each other due to their prior experience.  In case of arrange marriage couple, no one has earlier experience on how the other will react to this situation. Hence, a situation can create a scope for arranged couple to understand each other whereas for love birds to confirm about each other.  I might be silly or more partial towards arrange marriage couple but I would like to make a conclusion that after a marriage most of the situations can be tests for love marriage people whereas the same can be an opportunity to understand each other for arrange marriage couple.

To be frank enough even in the case of lovers, when they met for the first time no one will be aware of the other and only after certain journey they will come to know each other. In that process of knowing each other definitely they will show the patience and take the time to get to a conclusion on each other. I hope the same or even more patience and enthusiasm will be shown by the arranged marriage couple. In case of lovers there won’t be any official binding; hence they may not show that much patience in getting complete understanding of the other person. Whereas in case of married couple they will show more patience and enthusiasm than the normal as they have to live together forever.  I believe that either it is in the case of love birds or it is in the case of married couple, one thing is very clear that no one can find a person with complete matching. Hence, in either case for sure there is a self-boosting word called compromise that energizes their relation.

v  No person can be understood in the first situation itself and all situations will not come at a time, hence it requires a lot of patience to understand a person.

v  Every situation will give new information clearing off our earlier clarity; hence we should be very enthusiastic to gather as much information as possible.

v  As mood of a person need not be same for the same situation in different timelines, we cannot expect her response to be the same which we assumed with our previous experience.  I believe life is full of surprises. However we predict the situation and prepare & present ourselves accordingly we can never foretell the result. Whatever the result, once it is out we don't have other choice than to accept which indirectly say to compromise.

When patience, enthusiasm and compromise are the default things for long live of any relation, where does this word break-up coming to picture. Obviously, it will be in the case where any of the three things break downJ. Anything unexpected will happen either due to the unexpected attitude of the respective person or by fate.

Either it is a love or it is arranged marriage both will start with lot of ideas, assumptions, and hope for successful life. As the major change after marriage is directly visible in girl’s life in the form of her location change, let me take that as a reason for my support to a girl in this break-up case. Of course, there are many other reasons that can justify either of them but still even today, in any break up the major loss is shown on woman side. Though in 1970’s itself K Balachandar garu showed different examples to empower woman, even now we are feeling surprised on seeing woman who is breaking down silence to fly away from her husband torture.  Why we still feel that if a girl takes up a decision to break up her relation, it might affect her life but never give point saying that it might ruins the guy life. In what way her decision to break-up the relation may affect her when it does not affect him:

v  Does she will be isolated from the society but if she don’t break-up she feels she is isolated from herself.

v  Does she can’t find a safe place but in every moment with him, he is placing her in dangerous place.

v  Do people won’t give respect to her words but if she is there she can’t even express her words.

v  Tough to control her emotion in that young age but it’s better to control than to kill those emotions.

v  People may say she killed the relations but it is better than killing herself.

v  People say she is over fast, but only breaks in her made her to take a turn before they got crushed.

Whatever be the people and dharma talks, the law created by human says that there is always an option to free the girl from the suffering traditions and bring her individuality back.

I still believe just because of this land and it’s holiness due to certain people who have lived and are still living, we are fortunate to see that people bonded with relations still respect each other. Of course beyond anything fate can play over all, by which still some people face the biggest hurdles due to relations. I fear if proper attention is not given to these cases, there are chances for the deviation to the entire Indian relational system.   

I would like to thank Mallelateeram lo SireMalle Puvvu (మల్లెలతీరంలో సిరిమల్లె పువ్వు) team which has inspired me to write the above points. After seeing the trailers and listening to the songs which has been haunting me from then, I thought the story is about human relation and started to write the above points…

I am always thankful to my guru RGV sir as he and his book "Na Istam" is my inspiration to analyze anything for an example above "Fortunate to have a Long Relation."